Multiple Roles Brings Stress
That moment when I held my first-born, the little bliss I called my mini me, in my arms was the moment I was not only classified as a strong independent women but also a mentor, coach, chauffeur, master chef, therapist, nutritionist, etc. (Add two more to the picture and I became a referee) There’s so many other roles that we take on as mothers that are so beneficial to our feelings of worth but I have to admit, and I’m sure other moms will also, we take on a lot more than we expect to. I would like to say we are like a safe sinking in the ocean with everyone’s feelings (our children’s, our families) around us eventually hidden inside and undeniably adds to all the stress we have already put on ourselves. I was thinking I was the only mom stressed out as much as I am present day with these current stresses but as it turned out with much research Today’s Parents Rebecca Dube in 2013 listed the top reasons why she found mothers are stressed out. A survey was taken by 7,000 U.S. mothers in which they stated on a scale between 1-10 they rated their stress level at an 8.5. The secret is out moms!
1) Most of us are stressed out more about the pressure we put on ourselves to be “perfect” than the pressure or judgment we get from other moms.
2) 72 percent of moms stress about how stressed they are.
3) 60 percent say it’s lack of time to do everything that needs to get done.
4) Nine out of 10 moms stress about staying fit and attractive.
What If We Don’t Measure Up?
Well isn’t this the truth and all four use to hit home for me, among all the little things. I previously stressed about how I measured up being a mom, not only to over achievable standards but against other moms who seem like they have it all together. Here I use to be a hot mess because I spanked my kids over everything, use to worry I didn’t spend enough time with my kids because I worked too much or I spent too much time with them and my house was a disaster. I soon learned who cares if I don’t measure up. These are my kids, this is my life and I know I do the best I can. Honestly, I work too much but I spend time with my kids. Honestly, it depends on the day whether my house is a disaster or not but it’s lived in and is clean more often than not so why do I have to stress about it. Honestly, I’m not afraid to spank my kids when they need a good whooping and they see the corner more often than not but my kids have respect, well-mannered and behave.
Then there’s always the times I throw my what ifs in.
What if I would’ve put that super glue up my oldest wouldn’t have super glued his lips?
What if I don’t do this my kid is going to turn out this way?
What if I would’ve done more than my kid wouldn’t be this way?
I have stopped dwelling on the what ifs because my kids are safe, loved and lessons learned for both my children and I. It gets easier with each kid!
Take a TIMEOUT
I am not the first mom, nor the last, to evaluate every part of our children’s lives, how we think we are raising them right now preparing them for the future, and what everyone else thinks about our parenting? Now it is our duty as mothers (parents) to raise them to our best ability teaching them right from wrong, to discipline them, to teach them compassion and manners, to be their nurturer and to teach them how to take care of themselves from the basics to nutrition but we need to take TIME OUTS to protect ourselves and that is not worrying about being the model mother superhero we try to perfect ourselves to be according to everyone else’s standards. It all boils down to this WE ARE ALREADY SUPERHEROS because we are everything the picture below says and more.
I get much gratification from being a mother of three and all the roles I play in their lives because some days I do feel like the superhero I am but then again there’s other days I feel like the safe that is sinking to the bottom of the ocean. However, I have begun to take steps or do things in my own life, that takes consistency, so I can feel like the superhero I am everyday instead of feeling like the sinking safe. If you would like to know what steps I take check out my next blog.